Southern Ramblings

I am boggled with questions that come from my mind and my heart... How do we know that when we give our heart to someone, it is going to be treated with love and honesty forever? How do we know that when we find the one that we are supposed to be with, that completes who you are, that they are going to feel the same way forever?

I found the person that I believe that I am supposed to spend the rest of my life with. He completes me in every way that I can imagine possible... but how do I know that he won't get bored with me or decide that the decision he made over a year ago was the wrong decision?

I question things every day. It is apart of my job. I worry about things every day, that for me is apart of life and that is something that is deep in my DNA. I might feel troubled or worried but I can still be okay. I have faith in me, and I have faith in the choices that I have made. I mean, if you can't rely on yourself, who can you rely on?

What do you question?

What a question to start off a blog with... You would think by my asking this question that somewhere in the world there is someone with their head exploding.

I recently watched a program on the Discovery Channel about the exsistance of God. It was explained scientifically from one person's perspective on the exsistance of God. I took it all in as I watched and it really made me think... I can respect a person's belief in their God, but I myself, honestly do not know if I believe.

Recent events in my life have truly rocked my belief in just about everything. This has not been the first time that my beliefs and religion have come into question for me and that just goes to show you, for lack of a better term, how "wishy-washy" that my beliefs truly are.

Now do not get me wrong, I believe in my love for my husband and I truly have the most faith in him and our relationship. I know that he is 100% with me and I am 100% with him and that faith or belief will NEVER waiver... But what I have a hard time believing in, is possibly of having to "answer" to a vengeful god that chooses to put his believers through tests just make their lives miserable. I have seen this very thing occur many times over.

For example, a young woman who has so much to give and has so much love and wants nothing but to give that love to someone that will appreciate it and give it back to her, she meets, time after time, asshats and douche bags that do nothing but hurt her and use her for whatever is needed at the time. Or a young family that truly wants nothing more than to have a child and give them the life that they've never had but for one reason or another, their chance is taken from them, putting them through hell and they are made to feel helpless time after time. It just seems to me, that the God that I would like to believe in, would not take away. He would not make our life miserable, in what seems to be whatever way he can. He would want us to grow and accomplish everything that we truly have the potential to accomplish. But again, this is not the case.

Now I have heard the agruments of "he tests you so that you may become stronger," or "he does things in his time," yadda yadda yadda. I don't believe that. I have a hard time believing that we are just supposed to suffer the punches of life and then be happy with what we have. We have the power in ourselves, to change our ways and to change our outcomes. I don't believe that if I sit and "pray" about something, that it is going to turn out differently. Why should I think that anything differently will happen, when it only appears that bad things are willed for us anyway? That is, if you believe that there is someone or something pulling the strings...

I have thought in the past that I have had trying times and something has happened for me to feel like something was there for me. As I look back, I realize that it was myself making a change for me. It was me that took charge and made things happen. Not some super human figure in the sky looking down and pointing a finger and making it so. When you try and try and nothing seems to be what you want... you can change that. And I am a true believer in myself, so why isn't that enough belief? Why do I have to believe that there is a great power? Isn't the greater power inside of my mind and body? Isn't the greater power that is pushing me to do the best and be the best I can be, me?

This is just my opinion and you know what say... Opinions are like assholes, and everyone has one... But I really want to know... what makes you believe?

So I sat down and watched An Affair to Remember with Cary Grant and Deborah Kerr the other night for what seems to be the one millionth time… and it hit me… We have not only lost a lot of honor in our society but we have lost a lot of meaning as well.

Dinner Jackets and evening gowns used to be worn for dinner and dancing. Ladies kept beautiful clutches close to their fine handkerchiefs on the table tops. Stockings were a must and men wore gloves to drive. Men held the doors for their women companions and ladies blushed at the thought of a first kiss. These are things of old Hollywood glamour…

Now of course I am not saying that we should go back to women being “barefoot & pregnant in the kitchen” or women being their just for the reason of cooking or cleaning… What happened to the glamour of it all? Having the respect for one another that made the relationship seem new and exciting? Having a conversation about each other and being there for one another when needed or wanted?

There are things that I notice on a day to day basis. We take less time worrying about the loved one that we are with, and more time worrying about where we are going to get gas or where we are going to eat dinner that night. I think that it is important to step back and take a moment to just say hi, how are you? How was your day?

Both Men and Women deserve to be happy and to deserve the respect that they show. I can never remember a time that my grandmother did not look at my grandfather with love on her eyes. They lived through wars, children, poor times, and death. There was never a day that went by that their relationship wasn’t tested, like ever relationship is. But they remained true to each other and true to their selves just by taking the time to slow down and take it all in. I am not sure if it was because they didn’t know any differently or because they knew it and made it so… but I suspect that the love between them was the way it was because they truly meant it and lived it every day.

Take time out to make sure the person you love knows it and live it….

My granny always said... "You can put a pig in a dress, you can put lipstick on that pig, and you can put a big 'ole bottle of perfume on that pig, but it is still and always will be a pig!"

This comment always makes me think about a little thing called love... the perverbable pig in the dress! You can dress love up, you can put bows and ribbons on it... but if you don't have it, you just don't have it! I have seen so many posts recently about the "flakiness" of love or the non existence. I know that love can be a double edged sword. TRUST ME! I have been on both ends! However! I think if you completely close your heart off to even the thought that there might possibly be someone out there that gets you for exactly who you are.... Well Darlin' you are going to live a lonely life.

To quote a soul that I look up too, Mr Khalil Gibran....

"Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.

Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;

For love is sufficient unto love."

You have to love yourself before you can ever love another. You truly have to dig down deep and accept every little flaw and every little imperfection that you see in your self before you can ever open that Pandora's Box called a heart...

Now I have been "blessed" so to speak, with the love of a man that is unconditional and unwaivering... But I had to feel like I deserved it before I found it... And lawsy me, I am glad I decided to be open to it...

What do you think?

So a new year of birth, starts a renewed self... I have had a lot of firsts this year... My life has been kind of a whirl wind! Join me as we talk openly and honestly about life, love, & food!

I am an honest Southern girl with lots of love and what I think can compare to wisdom...  Just sit back, be yourself and live life!